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We understand secondary infertility…. We are JCRM!

May 10, 2016

We understand infertility! Meet our fertility nurse, Sabrina. She has such a compassionate heart. After reading her story you will understand why.

I was raised an only child in a single parent family and always knew God’s plan was for me to be a mom. Becoming a mom started early for me at 19, again at 25, and 26, I was blessed with 4 beautiful children. I was also blessed with Stage 4 Endometriosis/adenomyosis and DOR(diminished ovarian reserve). Who knew menstrual cycles weren’t meant to be debilatating painful and heavy. We didn’t discuss periods in my house growing up and I had no idea there was an issue with me.
I started working at JCRM the summer of 2002, knowing I was a “Fertile Mertile” and not really understanding the disease of infertility or psychological impact it had on patients. It wasn’t until 2009, when I realized the journey of infertility would start for me at the age of 35! Secondary infertility!

I had my children, but God also gave me the love of my life that year. We married and started the road of making babies together. We tried 6 months the “natural way” and nothing. Then several months of measuring my BBT (basal body temperature), cervical
mucus, and peeing on ovulation predictor kits and still NOTHING. I took Clomid and letrozole and still NOTHING! I was a fertiltiy nurse, I knew something was wrong!

In December 2009, I had my endo and uterus “debulking” surgery. I waited the 3 months and knew IVF was the only way for me to get pregnant. March 2010 was the first time, we went through IVF. 6 eggs, 5 fertilized, Day 3 transfer (back then DOR’s were transferred on Day 3) of an 8 cell, 6 cell, and 4 cell. I waited the 9 long days to get the results that I knew were going to be positive. The result was negative. Nine years prior, no doubt in my mind that I would have been pregnant. Nine years wasn’t that long ago, what happened to me?? What I didn’t know, endo destroys your ovarian reserve. The surgery was too late, the damage was done!

The next month we start another IVF, another negative. Round three in the fall, another negative. There had to be something wrong with these doctors and embryologist. I thought “It can’t be me?”. I went for second opinions, praying they would tell me something different. Not one doctor told me anything different, my ovaries were OLD!

After many unsuccessful treatments, I realized it was time to get serious. No more doing things my way. Nurses are the worst patients. I was going to listen to the doctors and follow everything. I started accupuncture- to help blood flow, fertility counseling to help with stress, Chinese herbs, took DHEA and Human Growth Hormone, stopped drinking alcohol/caffeine and eating sugar, and lost weight. I cleared my house of all plastics and bought new cosmetics, lotion, soap, etc free of parabens. I took every antioxidant known to help with egg quality. I prayed and prayed and begged and bartered with God! In Mathew 7:7, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.”Daily I asked myself why hadn’t the door opened for me???
My desk was covered in scripture to keep me from worrying and stressing out. Everyday I asked God to bless me with a baby. Little did I know I was overlooking the blessings I had already been given. I knew “my” plan was to have another baby with the love of my life. I was in a successful career and knew what I was doing with my life unlike in my 20’s, when I was winging it.

I lost count after the 3th IVF, but I think we did 8 or 9 IVF cycles. All ended with the same result BFN- BIG FAT NEGATIVE!
We spent thousands and thousands of dollars on treatment, therapy, medicine…I didn’t want to stop until I got what I wanted!!

As I look back now on the last 6 years of my inferility journey, it has been a roller coaster of emotions. I’ve been happy, sad, angry, depressed, hopeless and out of control. Mostly I was tired. Tired of the roller coaster, the up’s and downs. Infertility is a disease, just like cancer. You don’t know if you are ever going to be cured, if there is ever an end, or what the best treatment is for you.

Now at the age of 40, I realize God’s plan for me was to be the best mom and a wife that I can be with my family now. Through all the praying and begging, God’s answer was in front of me the whole time. I had 4 beautiful children and a wonderful husband and that was HIS plan. I set out on my fertility journey, with the goal of having a baby. The journey is over for me and I now realize I had to endure, to appreciate what I had been given. God also given me the gift to help others navigate and guide them on their infertility journey. My fertility journey did not end with a baby in my arms and I AM OKAY.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6.

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